Routines rule

Just thinking about how my life is driven by routine, and at the same time the lack of  it. Expectations are so critical to daily living, and when they fail to be met there’s such a conscious bump to get over. Every time I walk into the house I cross an invisible  wall of denial that I am forced to face over and over again. Of course each time it gets easier and easier to accept and I have grown used to the different forces in my life. Change is difficult but possible now. I am beginning to allow things to fall into place. No, I don’t need to rush home and let the dog out or feed him or worry about him and make my whole life about his well-being, but I sure do need to have other things to do and worry about. It’s easy to fill up my day with the mundane but not to have things I really care about. I  don’t want to just go through the motions, but a little mindlessness can sometimes go a long way.